Stop the efforts to fit in when you're always meant to stand out.

This is one of those things that is challenging to talk about, but this is one of the most passionate pieces that I have written in a long time. 

Let me share a very personal story that many people in my life don't know about. This happened back in college. It involved how I wrote pieces and what I experienced by passing them to my professors. 

My writing was constantly being torn apart and I was told that it was not good enough over and over again. So getting into this story, I had this professor in college who’s a hard-ass. There was a time when we were tasked to write a paper about how to alleviate some backlash on a catastrophic event in a company. I would submit this paper and he would litter it with a red pen. There are just NO’s everywhere. 

My paper did not fit the spin-doctoring a PR expert should be able to do because it was not me. I don’t know how to spin words, and I’m more on working with integrity. After receiving my paper back, I wanted to crawl into a hole and just cry myself to sleep. It affected me that heavily because I was excited about the paper - and it wasn't what my professor wanted. So I automatically got an F.

I knew then that I would not fit in that kind of world. 

I graduated from JMU with a communications degree in Public Relations. They tell you what will be expected of you when you work for an agency and all the wonderful things around it. Every time my professors would start to talk about life after college, my colleagues were always excited about it, but I was more excited to just stop spending money and start making one.

I wasn't ready or excited to start with an agency. I am not equipped for the traditional lifestyle. I found that it was not really a good fit for me.

Being different means you’re meant to stand out…

Those negative events like what I experienced happened because of perspective. Another professor could have taken that paper and liked it, and it was just like how certain people are going to be attracted to your brand versus other people. 

For sure, that hard-ass professor is not my ideal client, and it’s okay. There are still people who’d be more aligned with what I write and do. I'm not discounting any of their knowledge or their opinions. I'm just trying to explain that sometimes when you get bad or negative feedback, it's not about you. It's just about the perspective of the person that you're working with. It’s about whether you belong to that kind of community or not. It’s about finding your people. 

Quit trying to fit in. You are meant to stand out. Because even though it is a cliche term, we as entrepreneurs aren't meant to fit in. We are different.

I've realized now looking back at what happened, he was probably feeling like he wasn't doing a good job with telling us how to write the paper, right? I have no clue what all these other kids got on the paper, and maybe everybody failed it. That's the whole 180-degree perspective that you have to take with your analysis of people. We’re all different. 

Why do some kids who bully others do what they do? 

It’s because they crave to have this sense of belongingness. They wanted to create this community for themselves, to fit in.

People are guided on their needs, desires, and wants based on their perspective. We as highly sensitive people need to start looking at the reasoning why they do that to us, or why it seems like they’re picking on us. It’s not because of us; it’s more because of their perspective on things. This has nothing to do with us; therefore, let it go. 

Step into the communities that think like you…

It doesn't even have to be an online community. It can be whatever you intuitively know that you need for yourself.

The more you step into those types of communities, the more your brain will start to see that there are so many other people like us. There are! Even though we've been told our whole lives that we are weird, we're different, and that we're not good enough, there are people exactly like us—

There are people like us who are extremely successful, who have learning disabilities, who thought they could never do this, and who didn't believe in themselves. All of these people are there. They are real. And there's something within all of you I know — or you wouldn't be here - that believes YOU deserve THAT type of community. 

I want you to find this community for yourself. 

So if you don’t feel loved, wanted, or appreciated, REMEMBER love is easy when you're in the right environment. 

Takeaway!

Sometimes when you start to stand out because of your unique perspective, people will be threatened by it. They don't understand why you have such a bright light, so they might act to hold you back. They might say no, you aren't good enough. No, you actually can't do this. But that’s not the truth. Your paper sucks.

Well, we’re born different and there’s nothing wrong with that.

We're told our whole lives that this is what we should do. This is what you should want to do because this is what wealthy people or smart people do. Screw it. Don’t listen to that. You know, deep down in your heart, what you ought to be doing. Whether you've done some work, or you're just beginning on this journey, you intuitively know.

Concentrate on what matters to you, what will make you happy, and what will motivate you today. You can rely on that community.