Is Your Identity Tied in Your Business? (And What You Can Do If It Is)
Do you still remember the questions you asked yourself when you were first starting your business? I do.
What’s my end goal?
What’s important to me?
How can I create the habits and patterns that align me with that end goal?
These questions served as my guiding light. I created goals for my business. I dreamt of making my business one of the most successful social media management businesses. However, as time went on, these actually turned into traps that I fell into.
Caught in the Trap
In essence, my business got so tied up with my identity that when the business was doing well, I also did. And when I wasn’t feeling well, the business gets affected too. I did grow the number of my clients until I had so much that I wasn’t able to take care of myself anymore, and then ended up not satisfying some clients. I took so much on my plate because I thought that’s what entrepreneurs should do.
The end result was not the end in my mind that I originally wanted to happen. My unsatisfied client ended up firing me, and I felt like a failure. And this narrative became a repetitive reminder in my head that my mental health suffered.
How to Free Yourself from the Trap
As entrepreneurs, it is very easy to fall into the trap of the demands of your industry and then lose the heart of your business. You would lose sight of your real purpose from the very beginning, as it becomes intertwined with your identity.
With that, here are some life lessons I would like to impart to you on how you can set yourself free from this kind of trap. Even when you’re doing your business, you could still do it happily.
Set Boundaries
Unfortunately, this is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way. When I listened to society’s demands that my business should be like this and that, I strove toward reaching for their standard so that there was no more boundary between me and my client. Even when it was time for me to rest, I had to be there for them when they needed me. However, you should establish these clear lines between how you can serve and up to which capacity. This way, you can best serve your client with your best potential and you could both be happy.
2. Be Content
I did think I was content until I wasn’t. I kept on working towards what I thought was myself serving my clients, and I felt discontent when I am not in line with the standards that society set. Choosing to be content was a crucial step I had to make that gave me the courage to regain the perspective I originally had when I was first starting. So even when I no longer had the number of clients that they said I should, I am content and happy because I know I am serving well.
3. Connect with People
My relationships did suffer when my business became so tied up with my identity. Because I wanted to reach the success that I thought I should or else I will be tagged as a failure, I always used work as an excuse to hang out with friends, gather with family, and get connected. I later learned that these connections were what I needed to restore my mental health.
Takeaway
May you always choose to listen to yourself and to your heart. It is important to listen to what society says, but not let it take over. You can still be a business owner, serve your clients, and be happy with what you’re doing. That should be our end in mind.